Your story brings back a lot of memories.
I believe I was 19 when I was made a MS, which was a big deal to me at the time. After joining the group at the age of 16 (no JW family), I made "rapid progress". I began to pioneer the summer after I finished high school with the hopes of continuing my "progress". The Elder that studied with me had created the most fantastically idealistic picture of the organization for me. I truly believed that I could somehow make advancement though the org quickly, although I had no idea exactly how it would work. Bethel didn't seem like the right path, and other forms of service (e.g. "going to where the need is greater", missionary, higher leadership positions, etc.) seemed either impractical or distant. There was no clear direction that I could see. Like many young men in the org that I had known, I simply wanted to "work" full time for the organization, yet had no idea how I could make that happen.
I find it interesting how the conditions of your first marriage directed your decision making. I believe I was possibly on a similar path, with one exception. During my pioneering I decided to attend a local college in order to establish a career. Early on I kept thinking of Bethel, but by the end of that first summer I knew that sticking with the organizations suggestions would not help me. I was attending college, pioneering and working part time. I can really sympathize with your situation regarding being very young and managing a lot of different tasks. I got married at 20, moved to a new hall, and was made account servant.
I eventually started a business that achieved some short term success, which allowed me a semi-legitimate excuse to back away from being MS (the elders at the new hall didn't seem to be in a hurry to appoint me, thank goodness!). While my wife wanted to pioneer, it was mainly because "that's what you are supposed to do". We both had enough work to do in order to push of "theocratic advancement".
Knowing the background of your marriage at a young age provides some additional context to the problems you have described during your time as a missionary. I find it very interesting that you both were selected for Gilead. Have you ever described the application and selection process on this board? During my time in the WT, I always heard about how detail oriented the organization was towards appointments. Getting into Gilead regardless of you and your wife's problematic personal history is very interesting.